


Are You Sirius?

by blueartemis07



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-19
Updated: 2010-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 15:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueartemis07/pseuds/blueartemis07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"Psst!"</p>
    </blockquote>





	Are You Sirius?

**Author's Note:**

> "Psst!"

"Psst!"

Severus Snape looked up from the potion he was brewing. He had been certain he had re-set the wards after Hermione had left for work this morning."

"C'mon, Snape! It was bad enough I had to see you shag Hermione this morning. Pay attention!"

Severus shook his head. iIf I didn't know he was beyond the Veil, I would think that was Black./i

"Snivellus, for Merlin's Sake, acknowledge me, would you?"

"You mis-begotten cur! I thought it was you. But why are you contacting me and not your godson the hero?"

"He's too caught up with his wife to notice me. I tried. Then I realized that he wasn't going to help anyway. I need someone who can think."

"Did that hurt, Black?"

"What? Going through the Veil?"

Severus smirked. "No, Black. Giving me a compliment."

Sirius snarled a bit, then realized he was really going about his task the wrong way. "Look, Snape, I'm sorry for everything. I fall into bad habits with you, but I had quite a bit of time to think, and well, I really was a miserable, thoughtless, mean little bugger, wasn't I? I could strut around saying I never killed anyone who didn't deserve it, but I tried with you, and I didn't even realize it at the time. I just wanted you to stop following us."

Snape stared at the blank space in his living room the voice seemed to be emanating from, his mouth hanging open. Then he snapped his jaw shut and pulled out his wand. "Who are you and why are you impersonating Sirius Black?"

"I'M BLACK! What is so hard to believe about it?"

"If you were Black, you would know he would never apologize."

"Fine. If you want to see who I am, cast your Patronus at me, then chant the ritual of Slytherin. And before you say a Gryffindor wouldn't know about the ritual of Slytherin, remember the rest of my family."

Severus decided that a Patronus and the protection ritual of Slytherin could not cause any harm, so he pointed his wand at the voice and, thinking about his good-bye to his wife earlier that day said _Expecto Patronum!_ Then he began to chant the ritual of protection that every Slytherin learns. _I call on the wisdom of the ancients, to support and succor me throughout my life and to protect me from those that would do me harm._

As the shimmery lioness roared into the center of the room, a swirl of magical sparks started to coalesce around a shape. When Severus finished chanting, he was amazed to see Sirius Black in the middle of his room.

He was even more amazed when the man bounded over to him and hugged him tightly.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Hermione!"

"No!"

Severus shoved Sirius away from him. Sirius took the opportunity to run over to Hermione, pick her up and swing her around.

"Sirius, how did you come back?"

"I had to find someone strong enough, who believed it was me without really wanting to, who knew a protection ritual. I had started off with Harry, because Pansy should know the ritual, but I couldn't get his attention. I waited until Sev here was alone and then I bothered him. And he got me here on the first try! By the way, Sev, I love your new Patronus."

"Don't call me Sev!"

"Sorry. Severus? Snape? Merlin? No, that was what Hermione was calling you this morning. I don't think you'd like me using it."

Severus waved his wand, and suddenly Sirius had a nice strip of duct tape over his mouth.

Another wave of his wand, and the Floo flared up. Severus threw a handful of Floo powder in, called out "Potter House!" and pushed the startled man through.

"Severus! That wasn't very nice."

"Actually, it was. If I wasn't being nice, I would have sent him to the Leaky Cauldron. At least this way he can babble at someone who will be interested."

"And if I had been interested?"

"I thought it might be more fun if I tried to get you to call me Merlin again."

Harry tried to Floo the Snapes for at least an hour before giving up and sending an owl with a letter full of his profuse thanks.

Pansy, on the other hand, included a note asking for the duct tape spell.

As for Sirius, he found himself the center of attention, just the way he liked it.

* * *

Prompt from LaMuseAmusant: 7. Sirius finds a way to come back through the Veil, but he needs to contact a certain Slytherin on the other side for assistance.


End file.
